Rain seems to make me cheesy and weirdly motivational

There is thunder and lightning tonight. As beautiful as it was, I don't any pictures or videos. I tried at first but timing wasn't right. I decided that I just want a mental picture. One that I can remember in my head for the rest of my days instead, with my eyes and not a lens in the way of my vision and focus. Actually, as I write this, it's happening outside my window as well as throughout my instagram, twitter, and snapchat feeds and stories. I know that this is happening because it somehow correlates with the humidity of the air combined with the temperature or something. I'm not a meteorologist. Not even close . But being cheesy old me, I'm going to take it as a sign. A sign that someone, up there watching over me, is trying to tell me something.This lovely state that I have lived in, all of my life, has been in a drought for a while. It's actually a pretty terrible drought. The worst. I think it's something like 5 years running or so. It's actually the worst in 1200 years, so as I sit here in the dark and watch the room be lit up with the periodic lights in the sky; I wonder. What change is coming my way? I feel it in the air. The new school year, the class load, the new relationships and companionships and friendships waiting to be made as the timed thunder keeps reminding me that time is ticking. It's always ticking. I mean, the reason life is so special is because it can end, instantly. I mean someone could possibly be in an unfortunate place at the wrong time and be struck by lightning. "your chances of being struck by lightning are between one in 1,068,333 and one in 2,136,666" (at least in London) If you're in that small percentage more likely than not, it's over , 75 % of the time there is a permanent disability to follow and then if there is something nearby that can fall and hit you, you're gone, and that's it. That's scary to think about. Every time the sky is lit. There's a chance. A chance that someone might be in a moving car or sitting on a curbside with no home to go to trying to keep dry with the little that they have. I don't know why I'm stating all these things. I'm sitting at home, dry, and watching the beauty in the sky. But it's now that I realize how many things I have. The amount of opportunities I should be reaching for and using the things that I have to their max potential, instead of sitting around and waiting for deadlines and people to tell me what I need to do instead of doing it myself. I think we live in a day and age where so many people watch other people do great things and want to do great things but never actually put effort into doing them. I seem to be one of those people. I don't want to admit it, but I do have to face the truth at some point in time. Now is better than later.  I remember getting so frustrated over competition. It bothered me that people were trying to compare me to someone so much better than I, but now actually thinking about I should have used that as a push towards being better. To compare me to someone better must mean that I am somehow good enough to be compared at all. I mean, the evolution of the human race in every retrospect was competition. There were brave people who wanted to be better than the one before and that lead to advances in every field, from medicine to sports to art and music to food. Competition, as much as many don't
seem to like it, is a breeding ground for some very great things. I believe that. I believe that you have to pushed sometimes. I believe that you have to try the things that you think that you don't have the potential of doing. I believe in taking risks. I believe that if you do all the things that you've tried to avoid because you don't think you're good enough, then in the end you will be able to close your eyes one last time and smile because there's nothing left for you to do on this earth, nothing to regret leaning away from, nothing to wish you had more time for because you had just the right amount.

Xoxo,

Ankita